Hallo....
Everybody's always talking at me, everybody's trying to get into my head. I want to listen to my own heart talking, I have to count on myself instead. I don't want to let other people become my life, to choosen things for me. Have you ever lost your self just to get want you want? have you ever got on a ride and you just want to get off? Have you ever felt like you just pused away the ones you should have held close? Have you ever let go of something you love?
I'm not going to stop, I mean I will never stip, that's who I am, I'll give it all I got, that's my strenth and plan but something which scares me is will I find what I lost? but hey even when I know I got no where to start from but I know I can do it . I just have to bet on it, trust myself that I can do it.
I want to make everything right, even when I know that no one is right and perfect, that is the way it is, I want to ture my life around today. Today is the day to stand on my 2 legs and think of myself.
Am I the type of a girl who means what I say? That's what I have to find out, I have to understand how life us going. I got some many questions I ask myself....
How will I know if there's a path worth taking?
Should I question every move I make?
With all I have lost my heart is bleeding, I don't want to make the same mistakes I did again. I'm scared to wake up every morning and look myself in the mirror and find the same ok old person who made mistakes thats are not forgiven by others. I don't want to sleep with tears in my eyes and saying why did I do that? all I want is to do what my heart says I should, to forfull my dreams and reopen the closed doors in mylife. I want to enjoy my life the way it should be.
I have been doubting my dreams thats they might not come true, I always blamed the world and not myself, but now I'm trying to live the normal life again. I don't and I can't win this game if I don't play it my way.
Well I'm not going to stop to be who I am, that's where I'm standing, I want to make everything right, I want to gain what I lost, and keep on believing in myself just like I'm doing right now.
I have had time and I messed it up, and now I got no time to west, I*m going to brin it down, I will work on my new new and knew things. It's not good at all to see myself and not recognize myself, it scarys me evertime I think about it.
But now I have got the point, I'm not going to stop, not going to give up thats my plan I have to end up on top and not down. I want to make my own things and my life.
